


Karaoke Night

by Willowanderer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bonding, Friendship, Gen, I mean they keep sounding like they're flirting, Karaoke, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Morally Neutral Remus Sanders, Sillyness, but I sound like that with my friends, mild disturbing images, platonic, so that proves nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 04:24:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowanderer/pseuds/Willowanderer
Summary: Just a fun family bonding activity that may or may not get songs stuck in Thomas's head for days.





	Karaoke Night

“Alright, so we all know why we’re here.” 

“I know why I’m here, but I’m still wondering why I’m here.” Logan sighed. A less dignified Side would have been slumping in his seat. 

“I think there’s been too much friction lately. We all have the same goal in mind; a happy, healthy Thomas; so- bonding activities. And since we all like music-”

“In abstract.” Logan put in. 

“I thought karaoke was a perfect choice.” Patton continued without missing a beat. “Now, I also issued everyone one red card, which can be used to veto someone else’s choice, which should make everything more peaceful.”

“Patton?” Virgil asked. 

“Yeah kiddo?”

He dangled the brightly colored card between two fingers. It had storm clouds drawn on it in purple glitter pen, marking it as his. “You think this is going to  _ reduce _ conflict?” 

“Nobody has to listen to a song they really hate this way!” 

“Can I use this on myself? Just say ‘no singing’?” Logan asked. 

“That’s not very sporting of you.”

“I don’t see why that’s not a perfectly reasonable use. If I can’t use it on myself can someone else…?” 

“Logan, you’re participating!” Patton scolded.

“I’m here, aren’t I? Doesn’t that count? Why do I have to sing?”

“Because that’s  _ part  _ of part-ticipating!” 

“I’ll go first, show you all how it’s done.” Roman picked up the mic, and before he could enter a song, a red card obscured his vision.

“No Disney.” Virgil ordered.

“What? That can’t be how this-” Roman saw Patton shrug, and sighed, tossing a handful of notecards over his shoulder. “Fine, cut off my good right arm, then.” 

“And songs from the Broadway Shows count.” 

“Ugh~” several more cards were discarded. “Okay, thanks to Mr. Rain on My Black Parade over there…” 

Virgil cheerfully flipped him off. 

“I’m going to fall way back.” The best part of mindscape karaoke was that literally any song was available at their fingertips, and they could work their own lightshow. “~ [ Tonight it’s very clear, as we’re both lying here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwXwLU4HihA) , There’s so many things I waaaaant to say. I will always love you, I will never leave you alone.~” He pumped his fist along with the music and belted his heart out when the chorus came on. Power ballads were great for that. Heck, maybe clinging too close to Disney was holding him back. Nah. There was no such thing as too much Disney. 

“Wow.” Virgil said “Just… wow.”

“That was great, Karate-Kiddo!” Patton applauded. 

“The drama just will not be stopped.” there was a faintly admiring tone in Virgil’s voice. 

“No-way, no-how.” Roman said smugly, tossing the mic up and down in his hand. “I am a one way runaway train to dramatic greatness with stops in all the hamming-it-up hamlets along the way.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Logan protested. “If it was a runaway train, it wouldn’t make stops, it would just crash. Which would probably do more harm than good to the intended location.”

“Metaphor, Logan, come on.” 

“If you’re going to use a metaphor, it should be internally consistent so it’s more understandable.” 

“What’s the point then?” 

“The point of all language- to communicate thoughts and ideas.” 

“And emotion, the purest part of the soul.” 

“Aw, that’s sweet.” 

“Sweet as you, Padre.” Roman winked at Patton, who giggled. Logan took the mic from Roman’s hand.

“I’m going to take my turn now and get it over with. I only have to sing once for it to be counted as participating, correct?”

“Unless it awakens something in you.” Roman wiggled his eyebrows, and Logan gave him a withering look.

“I have had more than enough opportunities to sing, given that you all burst into song at the least provocation.”

“Don’t include me in that.” Virgil protested.    
“Fair.” Logan acknowledged. “You  _ two  _ burst into song with little prompting.” He fiddled with the mic, and entered his selection, standing in front of the armchair he’d claimed. 

Taking a deep breath, Logan did a more than passable performance of the  [ Portal end theme ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI) . Virgil gave a thumbs up and Roman genuinely applauded. 

“A Meme! I wouldn’t have expected it.”

“Glados is just understandable is all.” Logan gave a shrug. “They were just doing their job after all, doing tests, serving science. Hardly something to be vilified for.”

“She spent the entire game trying to kill the player, kind of villainous there.”

“Self preservation-” Countered Logan. “Since the player was trying to get rid of them.” 

“Not until later in the game, when they realized something was wrong.” 

“And she was super mean.” Patton put in. The debate could have gotten heated, except Roman noticed Virgil picking up the karaoke mic, and studying it thoughtfully. 

Roman whipped out his red card like a weapon, gold foil edging glinting. 

“No Evanescence.”

“Fine.” Virgil sniffed. He entered something. “I don’t have the range, anyway.” he added in an undertone. The lights in the room went out.  [ A few plaintive notes started to play ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRKJiM9Njr8) , each accompanied by a flash of light like a falling star or raindrop. Virgil’s face and hands glowed out of the dim like they were lit up by a full moon. “~When I was a young boy~” as the music picked up so did the effect of the rain of lights. The beat dropped and the light pulsed, forming abstract ripples on the walls that almost formed into shapes- buildings, people’s faces, animals, but nothing concrete enough to identify before it strobed off again. Through all of that Virgil’s face remained a constant as he sang, looking very much like he was enjoying the anthem. When it ended, he coughed, embarrassed at showing so much enthusiasm. He held the mic out offering it to anyone who’d take it, and finally ended up putting it down on the coffee table. 

Roman picked his chin up off the floor- figuratively of course.

“And you give  _ me  _ a hard time about drama.”

“I have nothing against drama.” Virgil retorted. “Just not  _ all  _ the time.” 

“And that was-”

“I thought it was your  _ job  _ to give ideas out.” he smirked slightly. “Can’t fault me for that, either.” he perched on the arm of the sofa next to Patton, like a smug purple and gray gay songbird. 

“I’m not saying it wasn’t impressive Virgil,” Logan said “But it could have used a seizure warning.” 

“None of us get seizures…” Virgil looked confused. 

“I’m sure you’d agree that a little caution never hurt anyone.” .

Virgil gave a begrudging shrug. It was true, he was pretty much always on the side of caution.

“More importantly…” Patton put his hand on Virgil’s sleeve, and he looked down, as Patton stared up over the edge of his glasses. “You know I’d never leave you, right kiddo? No matter what color the parade was.” 

“Are you serious right now?” Virgil arched an eyebrow. 

“Dad-ly serious.” Patton said with his version of a straight face. 

“I guess that makes it Patton’s turn.” Roman pointed out. 

“I’ll go next, since nobody minds.” A yellow gloved hand snaked out and claimed the mic, startling Virgil so much he fell into Patton’s lap. 

“Nobody told  _ me  _ I couldn’t sing Disney.” Deceit said smugly, not caring at the mild chaos his appearance had caused- that or enjoying it. 

“What! Wait who-” Roman sputtered, but hushed politely as the music started. He might not always get along with Deceit, but A) Disney, and B) it would be rude to interrupt someone else’s performance. Deceit launched into a very good rendition of ‘ [ Trust in Me ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEgkBetZY-M) ’ from the Jungle Book. 

“Okay, that was nice, but what is he-” 

Remus popped out from behind the couch as Deceit sat down, holding a tub of laundry pods, which he started sticking in his mouth like candy. 

“What are THEY doing here.”

“We were invited.” Deceit informed Roman, crossing his legs and putting his gloved hands primly on his knee, pushing Virgil into Patton. 

“Oh a likely story!” the prince started to get up to chase the dark sides off.

“By Patton.”

There was a moment of silence, as Virgil, Logan and Roman all turned and stared at Patton, who shrugged and grinned.

“I thought if they felt they were made a part of this, they’d be less…” his mouth twisted as soap foam trickled out of the corner of the Duke’s mouth “Well, more like they were part of the team, instead of playing for the other one.”

“Oh we’re  _ all  _ doing that.” Remus laughed, wiping the detergent from his face with his thumb and sucking it off with a loud smack. “But thanks for the invite.” 

“I can almost understand the get-out-of-danger-noodle, but” Roman gestured at his brother.

“Heheh. Butts.”

“Would you rather I left him alone in the imagination?” Deceit asked. There was a moment of silence, which ended with Remus asking

“If your butt crack was deep enough, do you think you could slide down a banister using it as a channel? Or would you end up impaled on the newel post like a giant dildo?” 

“Accepting that things like this happen makes them less upsetting.” Logan said quietly. 

Roman stuck a finger in Remus’s face 

“Just stick to the words on the screen, okay?!” 

The Duke sucked on Roman’s extended digit making him yelp and jerk back.

“Play dumb games, win dumb prizes.” Virgil snorted.

“Hey!” 

Logan produced hand sanitizer and passed it to Roman who was scrubbing his finger on the side of his jeans. 

“It was a  _ little _ funny.” Patton admitted. 

“Betrayal.” Croaked Roman theatrically as he rubbed his hands together. “You’re all dead to me.” 

“Are you done with that?” Remus asked, and took the bottle of hand sanitizer, sipping it like a nip bottle.

“You know, hygiene products go better on the outside.” Logan told him, looking more concerned than disgusted. 

“Don’t tell me how to live my life, four eyes.” There was a pause. “If you had four eyes, what would the glasses look like? And then if you were wearing them, you’d be an eight eyes like a spid-”

“Did you want to join in?” Squeaked Patton as Virgil tried to put space between himself and Deceit, ending up sitting next to Roman instead. 

“Eeeee!” Remus waved his hands excitedly, making a really annoying noise as he grabbed the mic. “I get to play. I mean, I’d rather play doctor, but this is good too.” Thoughtfully the Duke licked the mic. Patton’s eyes flicked over to Logan, who displayed a package of antiseptic wipes. Fortunately, the Duke was more interested in actually singing than fellating sound equipment. 

He tapped his foot on the floor, setting a rhythm that music blended over “ [ I’d appreciate your input ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k) ~”

As realization dawned with the beats, horror spread over the faces in the room as they all-even Deceit- braced for what was liable to be a very uncomfortable performance. 

“Oh wait Remus-” Interrupted Patton, holding up his red card, much to everyone’s surprise. “How about something from Broadway, sport?” 

The Duke pursed his lips, music fading, then grinned. 

“OK!” Music started again, and Roman nodded along with it for a moment.

“~Dance ten, looks three; and I’m still on unemployment, dancing for my own enjoyment, that ain’t it kid, that ain’t it kid-~” He was nothing if not emotive, and though it would pain Roman to admit it, as good as singer as the rest of them, if a bit raspy.

“Chorus Line, classic. Think this one is normally sung by a girl but…” Realization hit a second before the reveal and Roman’s head dropped to his hands as the chorus started.

“~ [ Tits! And! Ass! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhsFZDrRvoM) ~”

“Virgil.” Roman said quietly, under the music. “He just sprouted boobs, didn’t he?”

“Yep.” 

“Big ones?”

“ _ Massive _ bedonkadonks. They have anime physics. I am traumatized on  _ so  _ many levels. Lift your head and join me in this pain, or I’m peeling your eyelids back manually.” 

“The old clockwork orange, huh.” 

“Do you think I’m  _ kidding _ ?” 

Roman raised his head, and his face constricted into a rictus of horror.    
“His butt… his  _ butt  _ has anime jiggle physics. Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Would you have looked?” 

Remus flopped down on the floor between Deceit and Patton’s legs, breathless and giggling, the enhancements slowly deflating while making a sound like a dying balloon. Stretching his arms over his head (only  _ slightly  _ further than technically possible, which was a subltly that made it worse somehow) he dropped them over their legs, a sprawling personal space invader. Patton’s smile got stiff for a second as a hand traced over his inner thigh, but he forcibly relaxed it. The mic slowly raised up towards his face in a way that was undeniably intended to be suggestive. He caught it just before the mic hit his cheek. 

“Thanks sport,” He said cheerfully to Remus “That does make it my turn, doesn’t it?” He stood up, and tried to make retrieving the sanitizing wipes from Logan and wiping down the mic look casual. It  _ didn’t  _ but he’d made the attempt. 

Calling up a song, he bounced on his toes cheerfully, wiggling with his elbows close to his body. It was like a cross between a puppy and terrible white Dad dancing. 

“ [ We are fam- ILY, I got all my Sides here with me ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwLjtilAZDQ) ~” Patton sang cheerfully, not strictly following the lyrics, but definitely hitting his point as he changed them to fit the group. It didn’t take much changing in his opinion. “C’mon guys ~Get up everybody and sing~”

“No.” Logan said simply. It was clear that his seat on the armchair was completely thought out, as no one could reach him to elbow him into compliance. Virgil was jealous of the forethought as he was jostled into repeating the chorus with Roman. Remus didn’t even manage to come up with anything gross to say, rocking back and forth clapping his hands and making Deceit sway in time with the music. It seemed he really was just pleased to be included. 

“So are we done? Can I go?” Logan asked. 

“Oh we’re just getting started!” Rather than sitting on the couch again, Patton sat on Logan.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking a Logan-off.” Patton fluttered his lashes at him.

“But you’re  _ on  _ me.” 

“Besides, once solo turns at Karaoke have gone by it’s time for duets!” Roman said excitedly.

“Yay.” winced Virgil. 

“C’mon son! Sing something from the Panic at My Chemical Fall Out Day!” Patton cheered. 

“I... have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Deceit laughed, and Virgil glared at him. Ignoring him, Deceit clapped his gloved hands together. 

“Who wants to see Remus and Roman sing a duet? I know I do.” 

Roman got the strange look on his face he did when he was over thinking; often if he should respond to Deceit’s flattery or not. Besides it had been a fairly direct statement. Deceit held up a hand. 

“No lie, I genuinely do.” 

“I’ve got an idea-” Remus perked up, and crooked a finger at his brother. “Come down here, I’ll whisper it in your ear.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that.” Roman summoned a second mic, though. Remus popped up, and they crossed mics like they were about to duel. 

“Sticking to Broadway?” Roman asked. 

“Accepted. Modern?” 

“Accepted. Non-Patter?”

“Baby. Accepted. Horror? ” 

“I was thinking of you, Sir Growls a Lot. Accepted.”

“Ooh I’ve been elevated. Jekyll and Hyde.”

“A Duke is higher than- you know what, never mind, accepted.  [ Confrontation ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG98Qm2PYLM) .” 

“Dibs on Hyde.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Roman grinned fiercely.

They turned their backs on eachother.

Virgil looked like his head was about to explode. 

“But that song is sung by one-”

“Ssshsssh” Deceit whispered, and the performance began. It was definitely a performance, with both sides of Creativity involved. It was also  _ very  _ physical, and not exactly in a violent way, the Duke leaning heavy on creepy face touching, and well, leaning on Princey. When it ended they took an actual bow.

“Okay, you were right, that was entertaining.” Virgil admitted to Deceit.

“I may or may not hang out in the imagination a lot. They’ve dueled like this before.” The side of his mouth without scales quirked up into a smile. “You should see them play Gay Chicken.”

“Doesn’t that game involve straight men? How can they play Gay Chicken?” Logan asked

“Uh, I’m gonna stop you there, Lo.” Patton said, gently putting a hand on his mouth. “Because I think that is absolutely not a subject for sensitive ears.”

“We’re all adults here, who-”

“Mine.” 

“I’m going to take another turn, because I kind of feel like screaming right now.” Virgil grabbed the mic.

As bonding activities went, karaoke went pretty well. 

**Author's Note:**

> Entirely existent because I pictured Roman singing the Glory of Love then wondered what everyone else would sing at Karaoke.
> 
> Other contenders for songs were Patton Singing "Happy" and Remus singing "Insanity"


End file.
